Imagine you’re in a relationship and you find a little book in a drawer.
The title reads “Jim’s User Manual: An Introduction into Jim’s Darkest Fears and Deepest Desires”.
Gasp! Your boyfriend’s name is Jim.
This book is the key to Jim’s mind.
Would you read it? And more important, would you use it to manipulate him?
My reaction to porno films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
Erica Jong, American Author of Fear of Flying
Can I be painfully honest with you for a moment?
Not the kind of honesty where I point out you have spinach between your teeth and you’re happy I told you. No, I’m talking about the punch-in-the face type of honesty.
It’s brutal. It’s ugly. It’s unexpected.
And I can almost guarantee you will NOT enjoy it.
In fact, I’ve been holding off telling you for years now, hoping somebody would do the dirty work for me. But no one has. So, out of respect for you, I want to tell you the truth.
So here it is.
First off, Jimmyjane and Lelo are two of my favorite sex toy brands. However, because they are making a lot of vibrators, they sometimes fuck up. Here are their fuck-ups.
Over the past eight years, I’ve paid more money on sex toys than I did on bags — €2.296, to be precise.
I purchased my first real vibrator when I was 21. The cheap-China one had given its last breath… after I dropped it in the bathtub in the midst of an incredible orgasm.
Overwhelmed by choices, I went for the safest option — highest price. Five clicks later, I was €200 poorer and not a bit happier.
You might think that buying an excellent vibrator today is easier. I can assure you; you can’t be further away from the truth.
Do you remember Bill Murray’s 1993 ‘Groundhog Day’? Yeah!? Me neither?
It’s about a weatherman who finds himself living the same day over and over again.
The possibility of this happening in real life is close to zero, or so I thought.
But then again, I also believed I will never do drugs.
Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not implying I take drugs.
How should I put it mildly?
I’m the kind of person that doesn’t actually take drugs, so that when she does it feels f*ucking awesome!